#i might have to give it a shot though there’s just something about bertie voice that calls to me

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

Listen. If Bertie Wooster got stuck in a time loop, it would take him 3-7 days to notice anything out of the ordinary was happening, depending on how eventful the original day was. I don’t have time to explain right now

[musings-from-mars]

@pollinationweek 2021: Day 1 - Band AU

They had been stranded here on the side of the road for a while now, and Ruby was not handling the fact that their van was seemingly broken down well, all while they were still hours away from their gig. “What do we do?” She asked for perhaps the twentieth time as she paced, her boots thump-thumping against the asphalt.

“We buy a new van,” Weiss grumbled, content with just staring at her girlfriend’s butt as Yang draped herself over the front of the van to check under the hood.

“About a week too late with that idea,” Blake said, also content with staring at Yang’s butt.

“Hey now,” Yang’s voice echoed from inside the van’s inner workings, her feet kicking up behind her. Her jeans were getting caught on the metal, revealing the top few inches of her plaid boxer shorts. So attractive… “I can fix this, don’t worry. I know Big Berty inside and out.”

Big Berty was an early-2000s era transit van with two hundred thousand miles on the odometer and a chipping coat of black paint. It was practically held together by Yang’s very hopes and dreams, and a liberal amount of duct tape.

“Yang, we’re in the middle of nowhere,” Weiss said as she stepped closer, glanced down into the van skeptically, diligently avoiding getting any van dirt on her white runners jacket. “Unless you can do magic, we’re not getting anywhere. We should just call a tow truck.”

“How much will that cost,” Blake asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Weiss assured her, alluding to her ability to still access her rich family’s fortune despite being disinherited. It would require a couple calls to a sympathetic butler and a particularly tech-savvy groundskeeper at her family’s manor, but she could acquire funds in an emergency.

“Okay, but how long is it going to take?” Blake added, pulling out her phone. “Because wherever we are, it’s nowhere close to a cell tower, so I don’t think a tow trunk is nearby either.”

“Ye of such little faith,” Yang said, then she tried to shift her position, yelped with pain, fell backwards and bumped the top of her head on the hood of the van. “Fuck!”

Weiss was the one closest by and caught Yang in her arms. “Careful, you dunce!”

Yang gritted her teeth as she rubbed her head with her hand. Then she sighed as she looked at Weiss, their faces close. “Heheh…okay, I’ll admit it. I think Big Berty is taking an impromptu sabbatical.”

“You mean it finally clunked out and we can get a new van?” Blake asked hopefully.

“I didn’t say that!” Yang said defensively, then stared at Weiss a little more. She sniffed and started to feign tears. “Don’t make me give up my Big Berty Baby, Weiss.”

“Someone catch her, I’m about to drop her,” Weiss deadpanned.

Blake volunteered to assume Yang cradling duties as Weiss sighed dramatically and turned to Ruby. “Hey, we’ll be fine. This is why we leave for long trips a day early, remember?”

“But it’s almost nightfall,” Ruby said, looking up at the orange dusk. “Even if we make it in time, we’ll have so little sleep. Gods, this is gonna suck, we’re gonna suck, I’m gonna suck…”

Weiss stepped closer, taking Ruby by the shoulders. “We’ll be fine, don’t worry so much.”

Ruby’s cheeks turned a faint pink, but she shook her head. “I just don’t want a repeat of last time.”

Weiss looked to the side and pressed her lips together. She remembered the last time they’d had a mishap. It wasn’t a big performance, just a local set at a club back home. But a combination of equipment mishaps, some rowdy club goers, and Ruby being on two hours of sleep at best made for a rough night. “This will be different, Ruby,” Weiss assured her. “We’re far better prepared now. We’ve got this.” She punctuated her point by leaning forward and giving her a light kiss. “Now come sit down while Blake calls the tow truck.”

“I just said I don’t have service,” Blake called while slowly lowering Yang to the ground since their drummer seemed to refuse to stand up.

Weiss pulled her phone from her pocket and threw it to Blake with a tremendous amount of trust that she would catch it. “I have service.”

Blake caught the phone with one hand and looked at her phone. “Full bars? How?”

Weiss didn’t answer, instead turning back to Ruby, who was calmer and more flushed-faced now. “Come sit on the tailgate with me. Maybe if you play something for fun that might help you settle a little more?”

Ruby’s shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath, but she smiled and nodded. “Yeah, good idea.”

While Blake called a towing company, Yang stayed on the asphalt for a little floor time, and Weiss and Ruby sat on the back of the van. Ruby had her acoustic guitar in her lap, strumming random tunes and chords as Weiss sat with her, her head on her shoulder. She chuckled as she listened to Ruby play. “You know what would be funny?”

“Hmm?” Ruby turned her head toward Weiss, pausing her playing to listen.

“What if we recorded a song right here? Like, on our future album or something, just out in the middle of nowhere?”

Ruby blinked and looked where she was looking. Besides the road, there was nothing but grass and trees as far as the eye could see. “It is pretty quiet,” Ruby agreed.

“Once we hit it big time, you know?” Weiss continued. “It would be a cool way to remember moments like this, just us in Yang’s shitty van. But hopefully by that time, we’ll have a bus or something.”

“Aww, but then we wouldn’t have to sleep in a pile like we do in the back of the van,” Ruby said with a giggle.

“Says who?” Weiss joked, smiling and kissing Ruby’s cheek. Ruby smiled and leaned against her, then returned to strumming on her guitar, playing a few chords from one of their songs that sounded a bit odd on acoustic, but was nice to listen to either way. Weiss even joined in and sang softly, though it was nowhere near her performance level register, like a soft lullaby. By now, Ruby’s worries about arriving on time had faded. Sitting here while Weiss sang was just fine with her.

Soon, Blake rounded the back of the van and sighed. “Tow truck is coming, should be about an hour-and-a-half.”

“That long?” Ruby asked as she stopped playing abruptly. Weiss sat upright as she looked up at Blake.

“We really are in the middle of nowhere,” Blake said, taking Weiss’ phone from her button-up flannel’s breast pocket and handing it back to her. “I also called the hotel and told them we’d be in late.”

“Should we…cancel the hotel to pay for the tow truck?” Ruby asked like it pained her to say. She set her guitar aside and hopped to the gravel ground, straightening her plaid skirt.

“I told you, I’ve got it handled,” Weiss assured her.

“Sorry, I’m just…” Ruby took a deep breath. “I’m anxious about us missing our gig, or running out of money…”

“Yang,” Blake called out, cupping her mouth with her hand. “Stop taking a road nap and come comfort your sister.”

A few seconds later came the thump thump thump of Yang’s boots, followed by her capturing Ruby in a hug. “Don’t worry sis, it’ll be alright!”

“Egh…loosen up…” Ruby grunted as Yang proceeded to lift her up and crush her rib cage.

“Whoop, my bad.” She gently placed Ruby down and patted her head. “But seriously, though, we’re going to be okay. This isn’t the only gig we have lined up, we have savings, we have, erm, a rich girl.” She gestured at Weiss, who rolled her eyes at her. “We’re good, okay?”

Ruby sighed and looked down, shuffling her feet on the gravel shoulder of the road. “I guess you’re right. I just worry too much…”

Blake stepped up and hugged her from behind. “Hey, while we wait, what do you say we put on some music, raid our snack stash and have a chill sesh until the tow truck arrives?”

Ruby smiled and leaned back into Blake’s arms. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

Yang grinned and pulled Weiss into a rough side hug. “Yeah, let’s have a chill sesh!”

Weiss grunted and tried shove herself away from Yang. “No sesh is chill if you’re involved, and you smell like the inside of Berty.”

“Aww come on, you love me,” Yang said as her strength overcame Weiss and pulled her into a proper hug.

“That’s irrelevant!” She claimed feebly, failing to hide the smile that was overtaking her face.

Blake hummed with amusement, then kissed the top of Ruby’s head. “How bout you pick that guitar back up. Maybe that’ll calm them down.”

“You think so?” Ruby asked with a giggle, watching as Weiss still flailed in Yang’s embrace.

“Worth a shot.”

~~~

An hour later, Weiss had fallen asleep in Yang’s arms. The two had laid down in the back of the van on the mattress, and after Weiss got through with her complaining and Yang had pared back her teasing, they’d settled into a close cuddling position and were asleep soon after. Ruby’s soft playing probably helped, as did the gentle breeze that had begun to blow through. The sun was almost set by now, bathing the sky in a deep graying blue.

Blake sat behind Ruby, holding her around the waist she she played with her legs to the sides. She was playing a slow, light tune, low in pitch and a careful rhythm that came and went like a tree swaying in the wind. Blake had said it many times to her before and Ruby never believed her, but Ruby really was the best guitar player Blake had ever met. Even while casually playing while stranded on the side of a road, her music was masterful. Blake felt so lucky to just get to hear it. “I love you,” she whispered.

Ruby hummed and smiled, continuing to play as she spoke, “I love you, too.”

“Thank you,” Blake said, kissing Ruby just above the temple.

Ruby chuckled quietly. “For what?”

“I mean,” Blake said as she began to reminisce. “You’re kinda the reason this is all real. If you hadn’t been crazy enough to convince us all to abandon our sensible career choices and form a rock band, I never would have gotten the chance to fall in love with you three.”

“I did kinda ruin all of your lives, huh?” Ruby said with a giggle. Her playing was slowing and getting quieter.

“Hardly,” Blake said, tightening her embrace around Ruby a little. “Because of you, Weiss got away from her dickhole father, Yang escaped the fate of becoming some bored shop mechanic, and I, well…I’d be in a shitty apartment doing nothing.”

“You’d still be writing,” Ruby pointed out.

“Maybe. ADHD doesn’t do well without motivating factors,” Blake said and Ruby nodded knowingly. “This band, though? My girls? That’s all the motivation I need. I’ve never been this happy.”

Ruby smiled, now no longer playing, her hands frozen in playing position. She didn’t realize she had stopped. “We wouldn’t even get to be stranded here in who-knows-where if not for me, huh?”

Blake giggled and kissed her head again. “Exactly.”

They sat in silence for a moment, listening to the wind blow. It was properly nighttime now, stars dotting the sky.

Ruby yawned, finally setting her guitar aside. “Honestly…I’d be okay just sleeping here tonight.”

Blake hummed, turning her girlfriend so she could cradle her sideways in her lap. “Sounds inviting. But a hotel room with a bathroom sounds even more inviting.”

Ruby shuddered. “Don’t say that, I’m trying not to think about needing to use one of those bushes for cover.”

Blake snorted, looking down at Ruby’s face. “You’re such a dork.” She leaned down and kissed her softly, cupping the back of Ruby’s head with her hand. Ruby hummed into the kiss, then placed a hand on Blake’s shoulder and pushed. Blake slowly leaned back until she was lying on the mattress as well, with Ruby parting from the kiss and adjusting to lie on her chest.

“So you’re really happy?” Ruby whispered, her hand resting in the center of Blake’s chest with Blake covering it with her own, she stared up at the Edison bulbs they had strung along the upper trim of the van’s interior, bathing them in warm light.

“Ruby, being in this band is a dream come true. Being in this polycule is a dream come true. Hell, being here right now is like a dream,” she smiled and tugged Ruby a little closer. “I’m more than happy.”

Ruby snickered. “Sappy.”

“I know.” She turned her head to look towards her other two girlfriends, Yang on her side and facing towards them, face partially obstructed by blonde hair, with Weiss held close to her chest, the girl’s back to Blake and Ruby and her face tucked against Yang’s shirt. For a pair who loved to bicker, they sure knew how to cuddle.

Ruby noticed Blake staring and smiled. “I’m happy, too. To get to do something like this with my sister and our girlfriends, I just…” She took a deep breath and sighed. “Dream come true, like you said.”

“Sappy,” Blake teased.

“You started it,” Ruby joked, tucking her nose closer to Blake.

They faded into a natural silence, and soon, Ruby was asleep on Blake’s chest. Blake figured she’d try to stay awake so she’d notice the tow truck arrive, but no way was she moving from this spot until then. The music, the performances, the travel was all fulfilling and exciting, but these moments with her girlfriends were what made it all truly worth it.

Even if Yang was kind of a snorer. And Ruby was kind of a drooler. And Weiss was…Weiss. They were her girls. She loved them with every inch of her sappy heart.

[aidanchaser]

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: Everyone Lives AU

Table of Contents beta’d by @ageofzero

Chapter Thirteen The Very Secret Diary

It was a gloomy Monday when Ron and Harry lugged all of Hermione’s notes and school books to the hospital wing. She was insistent on keeping up with her school work, even though Ron suggested that being in the hospital was a wonderful excuse to slack off. Hermione told him that was absurd, she’d only fall behind, and they wouldn’t be able to get her help with exams. Ron agreed that delivering her homework each day might be a good idea.

A couple weeks went by. Students whispered about Hermione’s disappearance, and so many of them snuck by the infirmary to see what had happened to her that Madam Pomfrey put a curtain around her bed. So when Ron and Harry went to visit her that afternoon, they didn’t see that Lily was already at Hermione’s bedside until they stepped through the curtain.

“Oh, hi Mum,” Harry said as he set a stack of History of Magic notes on Hermione’s bedside table.

Lily smiled pleasantly at Ron and Harry. “Hello. Isn’t it sweet of you two to be taking notes for Hermione and delivering her assignments for her? I hope you’re not doing it out of any sort of guilty consciences.”

“It really was all my fault,” Hermione said quickly. “I shouldn’t have borrowed Ron’s wand for a Transfiguration spell. It completely backfired.”

“Yes, Ron, you really ought to get your wand fixed,” Harry said quickly.

“I know,” Ron said glumly. “I’m afraid to tell Mum. It was Charlie’s. He said he wouldn’t need it with the dragons and so I could have it. I don’t want to tell her I broke Charlie’s wand.”

“I’m sure she’d understand,” Lily said. “I do believe it was Professor Lockhart’s fault your wand broke, right? That’s what Harry said in his letter. I suggest you have him buy you a new one.”

“I’ll think about it,” Ron mumbled.

“Well, I am glad you two are being good to Hermione. I heard Professor McGonagall say she’s been very pleased with how well the two of you have been focusing.”

“It is easier to have Hermione explain it to us, but we have to try to explain it first,” Harry said.

Lily laughed and squeezed Harry’s hand. “You really are so much like your father. He and his friends would be so well-behaved when Remus was in the hospital.”

Harry smiled and his ears went pink at the compliment.

“Why was Mr. Lupin in the hospital?” Hermione asked.

Lily stood up from her chair, still smiling. “Well, I’d better leave you three. You don’t need a grown-up hanging around, and Hermione should be ready to go over your lessons from my class.”

“Oh, yes,” Hermione said. “Professor Lockhart came by this morning as well and helped me with a little of it too.”

Lily’s smile pinched like she’d taken a bite of lemon peel flavored Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. “I see. Did he go over my lesson and spells or did he merely read you the passage from his book and smile charmingly?”

Hermione blushed — or rather, her few remaining whiskers quivered, which Harry assumed was the cat version of blushing — and said, “He didn’t win Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming-Smile Award five times for nothing.”

Lily’s sour expression did not soften at the humor. “Yes, as he is so fond of reminding everyone. I hope one day you will learn that a charming smile doesn’t necessarily make anyone a decent wizard.” She turned to Harry and Ron and said, “And the same goes for witches with charming smiles. There are better qualities to be enchanted with.”

Ron nodded, and Harry said, with a small smirk of his own, “But Mum, don’t you think Dad’s smile is just a little bit charming?”

Finally, a smile cracked through Lily’s irritation. “Yes. But the things I love about your father are his bravery, loyalty, and humility. And his excellent self-made Cleaning Charms. Now, really, I should prepare for my class tomorrow. And grade some papers.” She kissed Harry’s forehead and patted Ron’s shoulder, then left quickly.

Harry and Ron stayed with Hermione, all three of them working on their homework, until Madam Pomfrey shooed them off to bed.

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Sirius,

Remember how I mentioned Moaning Myrtle? Well she flooded the hallway last night because someone threw a book at her. It’s a diary from 1943, and it’s really interesting, except for the part where it’s blank.

Ron keeps telling me it could be cursed, but it seems fine. It’s just blank. I don’t know how to figure out what’s inside it, but I’m sure it’s important. The date is from fifty years ago, and Malfoy told us the Chamber of Secrets was opened fifty years ago, and the name on the diary is T. M. Riddle, who was a Prefect and Head Boy, but he also won an award for Special Services to the school fifty years ago. It’s got to have something about the Chamber of Secrets in it. Hermione couldn’t make anything appear in it, though. Do you have any ideas?

Love, Harry

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Harry,

Try Aparecium? It’s a basic revealing spell, but if someone was trying to keep their diary secret, and they were smart, they’d have thought of something more complicated.

I’ve never heard of T.M. Riddle, and I’ve never heard of the Chamber of Secrets being opened before. Sure, I knew about it. Everyone I grew up with was in Slytherin and every few years someone would try to find the Chamber, just to see if it existed, but no one ever found it. I think Malfoy might be pulling your leg.

Let me know if the Aparecium spell works, though.

Love, Sirius

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Snitch,

Why don’t you ever write to me now that your Mum’s at school? Are you afraid I’ll tell her about the trouble you’re getting into? I won’t, I promise. Sirius says you still write to him, which is unfair.

Love you, can’t wait for your next Quidditch match. Let’s not have any broken limbs, charmed broomsticks, or unexpected dives this time, alright?

Love, Dad

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Dad,

I haven’t written mostly because I figure Mum was telling you all the interesting things. Hermione is out of the hospital now and back in class. Madam Pomfrey says the Mandrakes are almost done and she can make Colin and Justin better soon.

But that’s really it. It’s been super quiet ever since Christmas. Lockhart seems to think the monster gave up because it was scared of him, but I don’t know who believes him. But maybe it really is all over. Maybe the Chamber of Secrets is closed again.

I’ll write again soon. Promise.

Love, Harry

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

May 1, 1979

Lucius Malfoy,

Thank you for everything you did while we were in Paris. I was sorry Narcissa couldn’t attend, but I found the conversations absolutely stimulating. And I appreciate your offer of a job after graduation. I couldn’t ask for a better opportunity.

However, I heard from Avery and Lestrange that the Dark Lord wanted young purebloods to aid his cause. I’m worried about a conflict of interest. I mean you no disrespect, but Bellatrix introduced me to him and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how inspiring he is.

If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to wait to give you a formal response until I know what responsibilities the Dark Lord has for me. He seemed very impressed with my family lineage and the things I could provide for our cause. I do hope you understand.

Sincerely, Regulus Black

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Valentine’s Day was an absolute disaster. Lockhart had singing dwarves dressed as cupids running around giving Valentine’s performances and reading cards out loud. Harry thought the whole thing absurd enough as it was, and then on his way to Charms class, a dwarf grabbed his bag.

Malfoy, Fred, and George were all standing nearby, so Harry tried to run for it. He had no desire to have a dwarf sing him a valentine in front of three people who would mock him endlessly about it. But in his escape attempt, the bag ripped, his inkwell crashed on the floor and spilled all over his belongings. Then the dwarf grabbed his ankles and Harry tumbled right into his spilled ink. His books and parchment went flying. Everyone was already laughing so hard, he thought maybe they wouldn’t hear the valentine or care about it. But as the dwarf opened his mouth, Fred and George shushed everyone.

The dwarf, in a gravely voice, began to sing,

“His eyes are green as a fresh pickled toad, His hair is as dark as a blackboard. I wish he was mine, he’s really divine, The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”

Percy Weasley, the only one not laughing, shouted at everyone to go to class. “Move along,” he said loudly. “You too Malfoy.”

But Malfoy didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving. He reached down and picked up the diary that had spilled from Harry’s bag.

“Give it back,” Harry said as he got to his feet.

“Oh,” Malfoy crooned. “Wonder what Harry Potter’s written in his diary.” He flipped it open to a page, blank like all the others, and began to read, “I’m so glad my Mum’s a professor. I get everything I want all the time, even though Malfoy’s such a better Seeker —”

Harry wasn’t about to listen to another minute of this. “Expelliarmus!” he said, and the diary shot out of Malfoy’s hand and into his own.

“Harry!” a voice shouted and Harry winced.

Lily pushed her way through the crowd of students. “No spells in the hallway! That’ll be five points from Gryffindor. All of you, go to class!”

Malfoy sniggered as he pushed past Ginny Weasley to get into his classroom. “By the way, Weasley, I don’t think Potter liked your Valentine much.”

Ginny froze in the hallway and turned bright red.

“Mr. Malfoy!” Lily shouted after him. “Respect your classmates, or I’ll be taking points on your behalf next!” She huffed in frustration and looked over Harry, as covered in ink as his parchment.

Percy immediately began to tell her how he dispersed the students, but she didn’t have the patience to hear it.

“Enough, Mr. Weasley. I believe you have a Transfiguration class to attend.”

As Percy left, Lily cast a quick cleaning spell on Harry’s school things and his robes. As she mended the tear in his bag, Harry noticed his diary was perfectly dry, and had been when Malfoy picked it up.

Lily handed him his bag, then looked over at Ginny, who was so still Harry would’ve believed she’d been petrified. “What class do you have, dear?” Lily asked.

“H-Herbology,” Ginny stammered. She sounded like she might cry.

“Let me walk you, alright? I think Harry can find his own way to class.”

Ginny still didn’t move, but kept staring at Harry as he put the diary into his mended bag and started up the stairs to Charms class. Finally, Lily put an arm around Ginny’s shoulders and gently led her away.

Harry thought about Ginny’s valentine for the better part of the day — it was hard not to, with Fred and George singing it every five minutes — but as soon as he could, he slipped away to his dorm to test out his new theory with the diary. He sat down on his bed, opened the diary to January first, and dropped a dot of ink onto the paper. It stayed on the page for a moment, then faded into the paper. Harry took a deep breath and wrote, “My name is Harry Potter.”

He waited, breath held, while the words shimmered on the page before finally sinking into the diary. Another moment passed, and then ink oozed out of the paper until the diary said,

Hello, Harry Potter. My name is Tom Riddle. How did you come by my diary?

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Dad,

Valentine’s Day was a disaster. Lockhart had these singing dwarves sending everyone valentines. It was so obnoxious.

I got one from Ginny. I guess she likes me? I don’t really know why. Do I have to do anything? I don’t know about girls or valentines or anything.

Love, Harry

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Harry,

It’s been pretty obvious for years that Ginny has a crush on you. I’m surprised it took a Valentine for you to figure it out.

And no, you don’t have to do anything. Unless you want to do anything. Dating takes two, and if you or her don’t want to date, you don’t do anything.

Also, you’re twelve. Don’t worry about girls for at least three more years, please. I don’t think Sirius could handle it.

Love, Dad

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Uncle Remus,

I figured out the diary! I assume Sirius told you about it. He tells you everything.

I tried writing in the diary, and it was incredible. It read my words and it wrote back!

I asked it about the Chamber of Secrets and it showed me Tom Riddle catching the person who originally opened the Chamber of Secrets, but….

I don’t know if I’m happy to know it. And I don’t think I can do anything about it. I don’t know what to do at all.

Love, Harry

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Harry,

Secrets you don’t know what to do with are hard, especially when they’re not yours to share.

You have to do what feels right. If you think someone is in danger, you should tell an adult. If no one is in danger, it’s not your secret to share. You can ask the person who is responsible to share it, but there isn’t much else you can do about it.

Best of luck. I know you’ll make the right call.

Love, Uncle Remus

[casputin]

22. The Boggart in the Wardrobe

Thursday morning the Slytherins and Gryffindors had double potions. Malfoy still hadn't made an appearance since the incident with Buckbeak.

'Today,' Professor Black began, 'we will be making a Shrinking Solution. But before we begin, I would like to address the erumpent in the room. I am sure that by now you are all aware that the murderer Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban prison. I am sure that many of you have even come to the conclusion we are related. This is true, we are. In fact he is my older brother.' There were gasps around the room at this revelation, particularly from Lavender and Parvati.

'I can assure you,' Black continued, 'that I do not condone his actions and the Dementors that surround this school have my full support to do what they deign necessary to capture him and make sure he never sees the light of day again.'

Harry thought it was all very cold, calculated and over-rehearsed, but could dwell no further as Black began their lesson proper.

Halfway through their class, Malfoy swaggered into the dungeon, his right arm covered in bandages and bound up in a sling, acting, in Harry's opinion, as though he was the heroic survivor of some dreadful battle.

'Mr Malfoy,' said Black, as Draco took his seat. 'You are an hour late to my lesson. Would you care to explain yourself?'

Malfoy looked as if he'd just been struck by Buckbeack again.

'I'm waiting for your excuse, Mr Malfoy. And it had better be good.'

'Madame Pomfrey has only just signed my out of the Hospital Ward, Professor,' Malfoy said eventually.

'You and I both know this to be false, Mr Malfoy. Madame Pomfrey fixed you up immediately after the incident and recommended bed rest for the rest of the day. That was at the start of the week. You have missed every class since and you have turned up to mine an hour late. 50 points from Slytherin, and I will see you in my office tonight at 6pm sharp to discuss you detention. And please take off that ridiculous bandage; Madame Pomfrey is one of the best healers in this country and you do her a disservice by wearing it.'

Malfoy had gone as red as a beet. He looked downcast at his Cauldron and took off his bandage, revealing a scar free arm.

'Carry on,' Black said to the class before returning to his marking.

They were making a new potion today, a Shrinking Solution. Malfoy set up his cauldron right next to Harry and Ron, so that they were preparing their ingredients on the same table. He began chopping his daisy roots in silence. The other Slytherins were glaring at him furiously.

'Father's written to the Governors, by the way,' Malfoy said quietly. 'And the Ministry of Magic. I thought you ought to know. He's going to try and get Hagrid sacked.'

'Is that why you were still wearing your bandage?' Harry hissed. Malfoy didn't answer, but his embarrassed silence told Harry everything.

'Hey, Harry,' said Seamus Finnegan, leaning over to borrow Harry's brass scales a little while later, breaking the uncomfortable silence, 'have you heard? Daily Prophet this morning - they reckon Sirius Black's been sighted.

'Where?' said Harry and Ron quickly. On the other side of the table, Malfoy looked up, listening closely.

'Not too far from here,' said Seamus, who looked excited. 'It was a Muggle who saw him. 'Course, she didn't really understand. The Muggles think he's an ordinary criminal, don't they? So she 'phoned the telephone hotline. By the time the Ministry of Magic got there, he was gone.'

'Not too far from here ...' Ron repeated, looking significantly at Harry. He turned around and saw Malfoy watching closely. 'What are you looking at, Malfoy?'

Malfoy's eyes were subbing malevolently, and they were fixed on Harry. He leant across the table

'Thinking of trying to catch Black single-handedly, Potter?

'Yeah, that's right,' said Harry offhandedly.

Malfoy's thin mouth was curving into a mean smile.

'Of course, if it was me,' he said quietly, 'I'd have done something before now. I wouldn't be staying in school like a good little boy, I'd be out there looking for him.'

'Mr Malfoy,' came Professor Black's voice, before the conversation could continue. 'Is it not enough that you were late, but you have to continue chatting incessantly too. Ten more points from Slytherin. At this rate, you'll be single handedly responsible for taken us into negative figures, something not achieved since the Great Hufflepuff Folly of 1846.'

At the end of class Black tested everyone's potion on old textbooks. Everyone's potion worked, except for Malfoy's. Neville's book shrunk the most, closely followed by Hermione's, gaining Gryffindor give points apiece.

...

Lupin led the Gryffindors down a second corridor and stopped, right outside the staff-room door.

'Inside, please,' said Lupin, opening it and standing back.

The staff room, a long, panelled room full of old, mismatched furniture, was empty of staff.

'Now, then,' said Professor Lupin, beckoning the class towards the end of the room, where there was nothing but an old wardrobe in which the teachers kept their spare robes. As Professor Lupin went to stand next to it, the wardrobe have a sudden wobble, banging off the wall.

'Nothing to worry about,' said Professor Lupin calmly, as a few people jumped backwards in alarm. 'There's a Boggart in there.'

Most people seemed to feel this was something to worry about. Neville face Professor Lupin a look of pure terror, and Seamus Finnegan eyed the note rattling doorknob apprehensively.

...

'We will practise the charm without wands first. After me, please ... riddikulus!'

'Riddikulus!' said the class together.

'Good,' said Professor Lupin. 'Very good. But that was the easy part, I'm afraid. You see, the word alone is not enough. Let's see ... ah, Ronald, perhaps you can help in this next bit. What would you say is the thing that frightens you most in the world?'

'Spiders, Professor,' said Ron, shuddering at the thought. There were a couple of titters amongst the class. 'And I prefer Ron.'

'Very well, Ron. Now, let's think about how we could make a spider amusing. How about giving it roller skates?'

Ron blanched at the thought. 'But then it could get me quicker!' The were a few more laughs this time. 'I'd rather it have no legs, just rolling around like a Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Bean.'

'Very good, Ron. When the Boggart bursts out of this wardrobe and sees you, it will assume the form of a spider,' said Lupin. 'And you will raise your wand - thus - and cry "Riddikulus" - and concentrate hard on it having no legs and rolling around like a Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Bean.'

The wardrobe wobbled more violently.

'If Ron is successful, the Boggart is likely to turn his attention to each of us in turn,' said Professor Lupin. 'I would like all of you to take a moment now to think of the thing that scares you most, and imagine how you might force it to look comical ...'

...

'Ron, we're going to back away,' said Professor Lupin. 'Let you have a clear field, all right? I'll call the next person forward ... Everyone back, now, so Ron can get a clear shot -'

They all retreated, backing against the walls, leaving Ron alone beside the wardrobe. He held his wand ready and gulped, ready for the Spider that was about to confront him.

'On the count of three, Ron,' said Professor Lupin, who was putting his own wand at the handle of the wardrobe. 'One - two - three - now!'

A jet of sparks shot from the end of Professor Lupin's wand and hit the doorknob. The wardrobe burst open. A giant spider, six feet tall and covered in hair, was advancing on Ron, clicking it's pincers menacingly. A few students screamed. Harry thought of Hagrid's pet, Aragog, who he and Hermione had encountered last year and was about twice the size of the best in front of them. If Ron had been with them, Harry dreaded to think how he would have reacted.

'Riddikulus!' bellowed Ron. There was a noise line a whip-crack and the spider's legs vanished. It rolled over and over until it landed at Dean's feet. The legless spider turned into a severed hand with a crack. It flipped over and began to creep along the floor like a crab.

'Riddikulus!' yelled Dean.

There was a snap, and the hand was trapped in a mousetrap.

'Excellent! Seamus, forward!'

There was another crack and the hand was now a woman with floor length black hair and a skeletal, green tinged face - a banshee. She opened her mouth wide, and an unearthly sound filled the room, a long, wailing shriek which made the hair in Harry's head stand up on end -

'Riddikulus!' shouted Seamus.

The banshee made a rasping noise and clutched her throat; her voice was gone.

'Parvati!' Lupin roared.

Parvati stepped forward, her face set. The banshee turned to her and with another crack became a blood-stained, bandaged mummy. It began to walk very slowly towards Parvati, dragging is feet, stiff arms raising -

'Riddikulus!' cried Parvati.

A bandage unravelled at the mummy's get; it became entangled and fell forwards and it's head rolled off.

Crack! The banshee turned into a rat, which chased its tail in a circle, then - crack! - became a rattlesnake, which slithered and writhed before - crack! - becoming a single, bloody eyeball.

'It's confused!' shouted Lupin. 'We're getting there! Neville!'

Neville stepped forward, nervously. The eyeball turned into his grandmother, who was writing on the floor, seemingly in great pain.

'Ri-ri-rid-' Neville stuttered. Lupin took the opportunity to jump in and Neville's grandmother disappeared in another crack.

For a second, everyone looked wildly around to see where the Boggart was. Then they saw a silvery white orb hanging in the air in front of Lupin, who said 'Riddikulus!' almost lazily.

Crack!

'Forward, Ron, and finish him off!' said Lupin, as the Boggart landed on the floor as a cockroach. Crack! The spider returned.

'Riddikulus!' Ron shouted, the Spider lost it's legs again and as it fell to the floor it exploded, bursting into a thousand tiny wisps of smoke, and was gone.

'Excellent!' cried Lupin, as the class broke into applause. 'Excellent, Neville. Well done, everyone. Let me see ... five points to Gryffindor for every person to tackle the Boggart - ten for Ron because he did it twice - and give each for Harry and Hermione.'

'But I didn't do anything,' said Harry.

'You and Hermione answered my questions correctly at the start of the class, Harry,' Lupin said lightly. 'Very well, everyone, an excellent lesson. Homework, kindly read the chapter on Boggarts and summarise or for me ... to be handed in on Monday. That will be all, except for you Neville, I'd like to have a word, if I may.'

Talking excitedly the class left the staff room. Harry, Ron and Hermione hung back to wait for Neville.

'That was the best Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson we've ever had, wasn't it?' said Ron excitedly.

'He sends a very good teacher,' said Hermione approvingly. 'But I wish I could have had a turn with the Boggart ...'

Harry couldn't help but agree. It hadn't escaped his notice that Lupin's eyes passed over him whenever he chose a student to confront the Boggart.

'What would it have been for you?' Ron asked Hermione, sniggering. 'A piece of homework that only for nine out of ten?'

The door opened and Neville walked out, looking slightly less shaken than before.

'Are you alright Neville?' Harry said.

'Yeah, fine thanks, let's go get our stuff,' said Neville, before leading the way back to the classroom. Harry, Ron and Hermione shared a glance, silently agreeing to drop the subject of his Boggart until Neville felt comfortable discussing it with them, before following him back to the classroom.

____________________________________________________

I like the idea that Black isn't as forgiving of Slytherins as Snape is, much closer to McGonagall's way of teaching. I also like the idea of him not putting up with Draco's shit and molding him into something more humane from the get go.

Of course, with Snape out of the picture Neville needed a new Boggart, but with Regulus being quite supportive I figured the next thing he'd fear would be losing his grandmother, his only family left, to the curse he lost his parents to.

I also get in a dig at the movies in this scene regarding the spider on roller skates!

[forksofwisdom]

Embers of the Sun - chapter 4

Story Summary: Bella Swan, the new student at Forks High, is ready to graduate. She was prepared for a boring year and just wanted to make a couple of friends. Why are there mutant Wolverines running around the woods of La Push? And why do all the handsome men she meets look at her with such unbridled horror? An imprinting AU where Bella moves to Forks two years later than in canon. 

Pairings: Bella/Paul, eventual Angela/Leah

You can also read the story on ff.net!

(chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3)

Not beta read!

Chapter summary: First day of school, Angela turns out to be a gift from the gods and the Cullen siblings… not so much. 

Chapter 4 - Meet the Cullens

The first discovery Bella made on Friday morning while walking from her front door to her truck was that the coat she’d brought from Arizona was not waterproof. It was pouring buckets, and she shivered as the raindrops pierced through the fabric of her coat and drenched the hoodie she was wearing underneath. Her second discovery was that dressing up for school had been a horrible decision; she’d worn her converse shoes that day and had landed in a puddle the moment she’d stepped out of her truck in the school parking lot. 

With a growl, Bella slammed shut her door and jumped onto dry land. She fumbled with her keys as she tried to shake the water from her shoes and felt like crying when she dropped them into the puddle. People were starting to stare, so Bella pulled up her hood to hide her misery and fished her keys up. She was tempted to pull the ties of her hoodie to cover her face entirely as she approached the front office to get her schedule. The school was a collection of matching square buildings. They were all the made from the same maroon-colored bricks and surrounded by trees and shrubs. Bella’s mood did not lift; the heavy rain clouds made everything seem so dreary and cold. Her foul expression was enough to keep anyone from approaching her, but she made an effort to clear her face before greeting the receptionist. 

The office has a small waiting room, equipped with folding chairs and a bulletin board, which displayed the words: Respect, Integrity, and Commitment. Underneath that was the school motto, ‘WE ARE ALL SPARTANS’, written in bright yellow letters.

“Isabella Swan, welcome,” said the squat woman sitting behind the desk before Bella had time to introduce herself. “Your father informed me you were coming.” Shelly Cope, her nameplate sat on the corner of her desk, had red hair and wore glasses that made her eyes seem small. Her impartial smile informed Bella that there wouldn’t be any small talk. 

Good, Bella thought.

“Yes, I’m here for my schedule,” Bella said. The secretary pushed away from the table and rolled her chair over to the printer and pulled out some paper that she stapled together before showing it to Bella.

“Here you are. I’ve put a map in there as well.” She flipped it from underneath Bella’s schedule to show her the school’s layout. ”Your first class is 12th grade English, and it’s held in Building 3, room six. Mr. Berty, your teacher, will provide you with all the material you need for his class.” The dismissal was evident in her voice, and Bella thanked her before heading out into the rain again. 

She shielded her papers from the worst of it and was grateful that Building 3 was the closest to the secretary office. 

“Bella!” 

Bella looked up at the sound of her name and saw it was Angela. They’d been about to enter the same building, and Bella nearly jogged into her when she paused to open the door. Angela held the door for her and their shoes squeaked against the linoleum floor, leaving wet footprints as they sought refuge from the rain.

“Hi, Angela,” Bella breathed. 

“I didn’t think I would see you so soon,” Angela said pleasantly. She pulled down the hood of her raincoat and unzipped it to shake her hair out. Her glasses were starting to fog up from the rise in temperature. “What class do you have?”

“English,” Bella answered.

“With Mr. Berty? Me too.” Angela was familiar with the hallways, and Bella let her guide them to classroom six. There were a handful of students loitering outside the classroom, sluggish and heavy-lidded as they waited for the bell to ring. Angela waved to them, and the jerked their heads and mumbled an unenthusiastic greeting. Bella would fit in nicely here. She was already exhausted after having spent the entire night tossing and turning in bed from first-day-of-school jitters.

“What kind of teacher is he?” Bella asked her and sent the gathered students a stiff smile. Like Ms. Cope, they didn’t seem surprised to see her and shot her furtive sidelong glances.

The bell rang, signaling the start of class.

“I guess you’ll see for yourself,” Angela said apologetically as a tall man with graying hair opened the door from the inside. He must be Mr. Berty. He waved them inside with little fanfare, and Bella saw that he was wearing a tweed suit jacket with elbow patches and plaid pants. He looked like he could either be the type who believed that his own brilliance was wasted as a high school teacher or was simply eccentric. Bella hoped it was the latter.

They filed into a standard looking classroom. It was smaller than Bella was used to. Posters made by previous students covered the white walls, and the wooden tables were organized into three neat rows. They only allowed two students to sit side by side. Mr. Berty returned to his desk and Bella approached him while the students took their seats.  

“Who might you be?” Mr. Berty asked, peering at her over his reading glasses.

“I’m the new student, Isabella Swan,” Bella said, and he nodded.

“Ah, yes. Here is the lesson plan for this term,” Mr. Berty said, and Bella was relieved that he wasn’t about to make her stand in front of the class and introduce herself like they were still in grade school. Instead, he did something much worse. “You might as well hand them out to the rest of the class. Take a seat once you’ve finished so we can get started.”

Bella took the stack of paper silently and made quick work of handing them out while Mr. Berty did the roll call. She avoided making eye contact with anyone, but her school bag hung off her elbow awkwardly, and it bumped against the tables every other step she took. She approached Angela last. She’d saved her a seat and Bella slid the sheet of paper over to her with a grateful smile.

“Now that we’re all here, there will be no mercy today even though it’s our first day. This is a double period class, and I see no point in wasting it by giving you a few more minutes of recess.” Mr. Berty clapped his hands together, making the half-asleep student jerk in their seats. He appeared to regain vigor from the sound of their groans. They’d all been hoping that he’d let them off easy today. “We’ll be focusing on Shakespeare’s work for the majority of the year but rest assured there will be plenty of opportunity for essay writing and presentations.” Mr. Berty smiled when his students slumped lower into their seats, their misery apparent.

The rest of his lecture continued in that fashion, and Bella wondered why teachers felt the need to tell their students everything that was written in the lesson plan. It must be a rite of passage to waste everyone’s time during the first day back. They were nearing the end of their first period when Mr. Bert finally stopped talking. He split them into pairs to 'work on their communication skills' as he put it.

Bella thanked the universe for already being acquainted with Angela because they shared a furtive grin and tackled the task at hand without needing any awkward introductions. They were supposed to compare their favorite work of fiction and discuss the differences and merits of each book. It turned out they both shared a love for Jane Austen so filling out the worksheet was a breeze. Angela chose Sense and Sensibility while Pride and Prejudice continued to be Bella’s favorite. They were in the midst of discussing the differences between Elinor Dashwood level-headedness and Elizabeth Bennet’s playful impertinence and drawing the similarities of their passionate nature when the bell rang. 

“I’ve never met anyone who’s into Austen as much as I am,” Angela told Bella after they’d handed their worksheet to Mr. Berty.

“Me neither,” Bella said. It was true, Bella had spent hours reading and re-reading the novels in her youth but had been crushed to realize that none of her old classmates shared her interest in the classics. “Now, you have to be honest with me because this question will be a deciding factor for me to keep you as my friend or not.” Bella’s tone was mockingly grim, and Angela caught on quickly and assumed a serious face. “Fuck, marry, kill; Mr. Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Mr. Collin?”

Angela burst out laughing, blushing lightly at Bella’s crude language. “Oh, one is easy; kill Mr. Collins, but I always had a little bit of a crush on the Colonel after having seen the BBC adaptation from 1995,” she mused, making Bella gasp with delight.

“You’ve seen it?” Bella asked with uncontainable delight. She’d watched the series so many times that Renée refused to watch it with her anymore. She forgot her nervousness. “I don’t care who you fuck or marry; you are officially my best friend!”

Angela seemed just as eager as Bella. “I’ve got the special edition with restored colors and commentary,” she admitted in a shy voice, and Bella looped their arms together, letting Angela lead their way to their next class, which was American History.

“I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” Bella joked, and Angela nodded in agreement. 

Their history lesson passed quickly; their teacher was as eager for the break as the students and promptly dismissed them after giving them the rundown of the course. Bella and Angela continued their conversation, and soon they’d made plans to meet up sometime and watch Angela’s entire Jane Austen film and tv-series adaptations together. Making friends wasn't so hard as Bella had initially thought. She was so relieved to have found a kindred spirit in Angela that she forgot to be worried about lunch.

They were sitting at one of the tables located in almost every corner of the hallways around the school and Bella was getting to know Angela a little better. Angela had lived in Forks her entire life; her father was the Lutheran minister, and her mother worked as an accountant for a small local business. She also had twin brothers, Joshua and Isaac, who could be very rambunctious and trying at times but Bella could hear the affection in her voice as she recounted all of their mischiefs. Angela was just getting into the swing of things, telling Bella about the time her brothers had put a lobster in the cradle as Baby Jesus before the start of the annual Christmas play when they were interrupted.

“Yo, Angie!” A blond haired boy called with unnecessary loudness. He strutted down the hallway towards them with two other guys. He perked up at the sight of Bella and 

“Hi, I’m Mike,” he said and held out his hand for her to shake. He was smiling at her with a little too much interest and Bella heaved an internal sigh. 

“Guys this is Bella.” Angela, bless her heart, took it upon herself to make the introductions. “Bella this is Austin-” she gestured to the acne-ridden sandy-haired boy who raised his hand in greeting. “- and this is Ben.” The short, black haired boy shot Bella an awkward smile as he sat down next to Angela and entwined their fingers together. Bella blinked. Angela hadn’t mentioned having a boyfriend. 

“So, Bella-” Mike started to drawl.

“Where’s Jessica?” Angela asked Mike pointedly, cutting him off. He shrunk back and rubbed the back of his neck guiltily.

“She went with Lauren to save us a good table in the Mess,” Mike said. “She told us to go and find you. Your schedule is messed up; we hardly have any classes together. Ben here was starting to pine for you by the third period.”

Angela laughed awkwardly, tightening her grip on Ben and patted the back of his hand with her free hand. “Yeah, but I wouldn’t have met Bella otherwise. Besides, we have photography together next class,” she reassured Ben and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. He blushed.

“C’mon, I’m starving,” Austin groaned, and they got up. Angela disentangled herself from Ben and fell into step with Bella. He didn’t seem to mind and took to discussing the new chapter of some superhero novel with Austin. Bella couldn’t help but notice that Angela was an entire head taller than her boyfriend, who was about as tall as herself. 

The mess hall was starting to fill with hungry students, and they took their place in the forming queue to get their meal. The other students had food stamps, and Angela loaned Bella one of hers when she realized that she hadn’t brought any money.

“I’ll pay you back tomorrow,” Bella promised after thanking her. Angela shook her head and reassured her that it wasn’t necessary. Bella didn’t dare take the time to examine what the school had to offer with a line behind her and picked the same stuff as Angela. They headed for a table that was occupied by two pretty girls and two guys who were both wearing varsity jackets.

“Hey, Lauren, Jessica; this is Bella. She’s new here,” Angela introduced Bella when they took their seats.

“We know,” the girl with white blonde hair, Lauren, said. She seemed to dismiss Bella after giving her a once over with sharp green eyes and leaned into the dark-skinned boy sitting beside her. He tried to tangle his fingers in her hair, but she jerked her head away with a warning glare. He rolled his eyes and introduced himself as Tyler Crowley.

“Hi!” a brunette with voluminous curls waved cheerfully to Bella when she took a seat across from her. Mike had his arm around her shoulders. She must be Jessica. “Don’t mind, Lauren. She’s not good with new people.”

“Shut up, Jess,” Lauren scoffed, but there wasn’t any heat behind her words. Angela, who was sitting next to Bella, raised her eyebrows in a ‘what-can-you-do’ way and Bella stifled her smile.

“Hey, Conner,” Mike shared a fist bump with the other guy.

“Yo, dude. Did you catch the game last night?” Conner asked, licking his spoon free of yogurt. 

“The Seahawks got slaughtered, man,” Tyler laughed, and Mike buried his face in his hands with a groan.

“Don’t remind me.” Mike shook his head, and they launched into a heated argument over which team player was to blame for their defeat. Jessica rolled her eyes and leaned forward to tell Angela about what kind of morning she’d had. Apparently, she’d found a dead squirrel on her front porch.

“- I literally died,” Jessica said dramatically, and Lauren grimaced with disgust.

“What did you do with it?” 

“Dad got a stick and took it into the woods. It was super gross; it didn't have any eyes!” Jessica said with too much relish for a girl who was supposedly traumatized by the event. 

Bella nibbled on the side of her cafeteria bland pizza slice and realized that she was sitting with the popular cheerleaders and jocks. It was an absurd thought because she’d spent years making fun of their type. She couldn’t help but think that Jessica and Lauren were both shallow, but then again; she hadn’t known them for more than twenty minutes. 

It was a weird moment for her.

“So, we’re graduating soon. Have any, like, plans?” Lauren asked the entire table. She was obviously the leader here because the other conversations came to a stop to join hers. Lauren didn’t seem too interested in knowing their goals because she immediately launched into her own plans once she had their attention. “I’m going to Canada.”

“Lauren was scouted by a model agency in Victoria this summer,” Angela explained in a hushed voice when she noticed Bella’s confusion. Lauren seemed genuinely excited by the prospect, and she even let Tyler touch her hair when he pressed a kiss to her lips. Bella looked away at their display of affection.

“You’re going places, babe.”

“I’m going to attend uni in Seattle,” Ben said and the rest of the table seemed to have similar plans.

“I’m thinking about getting a degree in communications and maybe entertainment. I really want to have my own talk show one day,” Jessica piped up with a dreamy smile.

“Then you can interview me once I’m famous,” Lauren laughed, and Jessica joined her with a strained smile. Bella sensed a bit of jealousy coming from Jessica and wondered if it was because Laura was the more popular one.

“Totally!”

“What about you, Bella?” Mike asked her and Bella was suddenly the focal point of the entire table.

“Um, I’m going to university and maybe become a teacher.” She shrugged, flushing a little underneath their attention.

“Me too,” Angela said. “I want to be a kindergarten teacher.”

“What do you think the Cullens are going to do?” Jessica asked, and Bella was left behind at the leap in the conversation. She had no idea who the Cullens were, but it seemed like a favorite subject of Jessica’s because there was a gleam in her eyes while the others rolled their eyes. The atmosphere soured even further when Lauren spoke.

“Who cares? They don’t need jobs because they’re all rich and beautiful,” she sneered.

“Speak of the devil,” Mike muttered, and Bella looked up.

A lanky young man and what appeared to be a child at first glance had just entered the mess hall. A closer look told Bella that the girl wasn’t a child but around her age and was just unfortunately short and thin to the extremes. Despite this they looked like a pair of runway models who’d gotten lost on their way to the catwalk and somehow ended up in Forks, Washington instead. Bella couldn’t believe they were still in high school with features like that. Maybe it was the way they dressed, but they appeared years older than the rest of the student population. They walked with the kind of confidence rarely seen in a teenager, and there wasn’t a blemish in sight. They were both deathly pale, and the girl reminded Bella of a pixie; she appeared to float across the room with the graceful steps of a skilled dancer. 

Bella felt a twinge of envy at her coordination. Some people just had it all.

Her companion was just as fetching. He was devastatingly handsome with windswept hair that was the most unusual shade of copper. Heads turned as they walked past but they didn’t seem to care, getting a tray of food and taking a seat in the corner. They slouched elegantly in their chairs and stared in separate directions in stony silence. 

Were these the Cullens? Bella was almost afraid to ask at this point. 

Sound returned to the room, and slowly the students returned to their conversations, shooting the Cullens glances as they put their heads together to whisper and giggle about something; most likely how hot they were.

Jessica sighed before she caught herself and shot Mike a guilty glance. He'd been checking out the pixie Cullen, and Jessica elbowed him in the gut. Mike winced.

“Are they related?” Bella wondered. They didn’t look remotely similar beyond their pale skin and good looks.

“Oh, no,” Jessica answered, eager to dish out their dirty secrets. “Dr. Cullen adopted them, that’s Alice and Edward Cullen, but they have three other siblings who graduated last year. Emmett Cullen, and the Hale twins; Rosalie and Jasper.” Jessica leaned in like she was about to share something scandalous, sending the Cullens an eager look. “They’re all like, together together.”

“Wait, like romantically?” Bella asked.

“It’s really weird,” Jessica nodded and was put out when she saw that Bella didn’t share her disgust.

“Well, you said that they’re not related,” Bella said slowly. Call her a romantic, but she believed that love could be found in the most unexpected places.

“It’s weird,” Jessica asserted before resuming her gossiping. “Alice and Jasper are together, and so are Emmett and Rosalie but Edward is like the only one who’s single,” she said and looked at Edward with a hungry expression. “He’s never shown anyone interest though because apparently, no one is good enough for him.” She blushed and drew back to fold her arms against her chest. Mike glared at Edward Cullen and pulled Jessica to him, which seemed to cheer her up. “Whatever, it’s not like I care.” Her sour expression gave away that she wasn’t as unaffected as she pretended. Bella didn’t know what to say to this. 

She glanced at the Cullens again and met the golden eyes of Alice. Her large doe eyes were alight with some indiscernible emotion, and she whispered something to her brother, not taking her eyes off of Bella. Bella looked down at her plate quickly, embarrassed at having been caught but a quick glance told her that Edward was watching her as well. He didn’t seem to share his sister’s excitement and glared at Bella. Humiliated, she felt like a sideshow freak when they kept staring at her.

“Bella, what class do you have next?” Angela offered Bella an out from the awkward silence.

“I have Spanish,” she said after consulting her schedule. It had been an obvious choice because Bella had taken it in Phoenix, as it is the second most common language spoken in California and Arizona. “What about you?” Bella asked, and Angela reminded her that she had photography with Ben after lunch.

“I’m taking French,” Lauren piped up. She buffed her nails against her blouse without looking up. Jessica appeared to have gotten over her herself and her good mood was restored.

“So am I!” she said brightly. “Mike, you have trig right?” 

“Don’t remind me,” he moaned and looked over at Connor and Tyler. “Do you guys remember anything from last year?”

“Nope.” They didn’t appear to be bothered by the fact and started to pile their trash onto their trays when the bell rang to signal the end of lunch. 

Bella’s map came in handy when she was forced to split up with Angela, who’d been her guide up to this moment. She arrived at the correct classroom in the nick of time. Mrs. Geoff, the Spanish teacher, greeted her enthusiastically and made her stand in front of the class and introduce herself in Spanish. Bella wanted to sink into the floor, but her grasp on Spanish was good enough, and she was able to rattle off some inane facts about herself.

“¡Te felicito! Tu trabajo está muy bien hecho,” the teacher exclaimed and received blank-eyed stares from her students.

“Gracias, señora,” Bella said and quickly went to the only seat available. She nearly swallowed her tongue when she saw Alice Cullen sitting in the chair next to hers. Bella sat down and gave Alice an awkward smile, which she returned trifold, nearly blinding Bella with the beauty of it. Her teeth were straight and a pearly white. Bella had the urge to go and brush her teeth, feeling self-conscious.

“So your name is Bella?” Alice asked, her voice sounding like wind chimes. Bella got lost in her eyes for a moment. Bella had never seen such an unusual eye color; they were a stunning liquid gold. She shook herself out of her daze when she realized Alice was waiting for an answer.

“Sí,” Bella replied jokingly. 

“How wonderful.” Alice’s smile widened impossibly. She seemed oddly thrilled about learning Bella’s name because she laughed with delight at the simple introduction. Even her laugh was beautiful.

Mrs. Geoff spoke in Spanish throughout the class, but Bella had a hard time focusing. Alice was the most beautiful creature she’d ever met, with her pale skin and red. She reminded Bella of a miniature Snow White.

Alice didn’t pay attention to Mrs. Geoff either because she kept asking Bella questions in a low whisper. Bella was a little flattered by it. The rest of the students seemed stunned to see Alice voluntarily talking to another human being outside her own family. Mrs. Geoff didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. 

“What color were you thinking about?” Alice’s question brought Bella back. They’d somehow gotten onto the topic of interior design. Bella had learned that Alice was a fashion enthusiast with a thing for decorations, and had let slip that she was thinking about painting the wall in her room to add a little warmth to it.

“I haven’t gotten that far yet,” Bella admitted.

“Well, I recommend you go to Benjamin Moore in Port Angeles and look at their swatches. Here, let me give you my number in case you need help picking out the right color,” Alice said as the bell rang. She ripped some paper from her notebook and scribbled her mobile number on it and gave it to Bella.

“I don’t have a phone,” Bella said dumbly.

“Oh, that doesn’t matter,” Alice dismissed. “There are plenty of places that sell them.”

“Thanks.” Bella blinked, feeling like she’d been caught in a whirlwind.

“No, problem,” Alice smiled and waved as she headed in the other direction. “I’ll see you around, Bella!”

“See ya,” Bella said weakly. She got caught in the flow of students and walked with them in a slight daze.

Alice was a little overwhelming. It was apparent that she was the type who knew what she wanted and had no issues with getting it. It was an admirable trait, but Bella was a little shell-shocked after taking the brunt of her attention. Yes, Alice was persistent for someone her size but otherwise harmless. Mostly.

Bella soon learned that the same could not be said about her brother.

Biology class started out fine. Mr. Banner, the teacher, handed Bella her book and bade her take a seat without making her introduce herself using the theme of the subject as Mrs. Geoff had done. It would have made an interesting introduction: “Hi, my name is Isabella Swan, but call me Bella. I started out as a zygote inside my mother’s womb and developed into a human through the wonderful process of mitosis and meiosis. I’m also a Virgo.”

The only seat available was next to one Edward Cullen. 

Everything rolled downhill after that.

Bella couldn’t help but stare at him when she walked between the aisles. Edward’s chiseled features belonged in renaissance paintings or on statues of Greek deities, crafted by master sculptors, not in this backwoods high school. Bella had never seen anyone as handsome as him. It was disquieting, and it provoked something indescribable inside her. 

He looked like an angel. 

When she drew near, his nostrils suddenly flared, and his head jerked up. Edward glared at her with monstrous black eyes, his pupil indiscernible from their darkness, and his face contorted like he’d smelled something foul. He went so far as to lean away from Bella as far as his seat allowed him when she sat down next to him.

Her heart gave a painful squeeze of mortification, and she quickly looked down at the tabletop, her hair falling forward to hide her face. She tried to subtly sniff her shirt to see if she stunk and was a little insulted when she smelled nothing out of the ordinary. Sure, Bella didn’t smell like her usual strawberry shampoo, having forgotten to pick it up at the store, but she wasn’t smelly, and her natural musk was too faint for Edward to smell from this distance. Maybe he was sick; he certainly looked like he was in agony. 

She drew a breath and was about to ask him if he needed the nurse when a tantalizing sweet scent wafted towards her, similar to the one his sister bore. Her mind felt fuzzy, and Bella was drawn towards it like a bee to honey, but the look in Edward’s soulless eyes spelled death. It was a spine-chilling experience. 

Bella looked away quickly. She took it back; Edward wasn’t a beautiful angel, not at that moment. He was an archangel, cast out of heaven and turned demonic. He didn’t look human.

Maybe he just has bad gas, she thought to herself, feeling the beginnings of hysteria creeping on her. Twenty minutes dragged past, and Bella kept one eye on the clock and the beast beside her. She hadn’t heard a word of what Mr. Banner was saying, distracted by the murderous intent emanating from Edward. He hadn’t moved, frozen in his odd hunched position. Bella doubted that he was even breathing; his chest wasn’t moving, and his hand was covering his mouth and nose. He certainly wasn’t blinking.

Fear. That was the feeling Edward provoked inside her; a deep primitive fear that urged Bella to either leap out of the window to get away from him or to pick up her pencil and stab it into those unnatural black eyes of his. Bella was not a violent person by nature so the sudden desire to attack a classmate, no matter how creepy, took her by surprise.

What was happening to her? Bella didn’t know, but she knew it had something to do with Edward. She refused to take this anymore; Edward Cullen had no right to affect her like this. Bella stood up and walked to Mr. Banner’s desk for her escape. He looked up at her, and she didn’t have to fake her nervous smile.

“Excuse me, sir. Can I go to the bathroom?” she asked in a low voice.

“Certainly,” Mr. Banner said and handed her a hall pass.

“Thank you,” Bella said and hurried out of the room. One last look at Edward almost sent her running. He was no longer straining back but leaning forwards like a predator readying itself to leap onto its prey. He looked like he wanted to eat her.

Bella settled for a brisk pace down the corridor instead of hightailing out of the school like she wanted to. She was halfway down the hallway when Alice Cullen, of all people, rounded the corner. She was speaking anxiously into her phone, and Bella caught a bit of her end of the conversation when they walked past each other. “-can’t see him, Carlisle. Hi, Bella!” Alice wiggled her fingers at her but didn’t slow down, which suited Bella just fine. She’d had enough of the Cullens today. “No. I’m getting him now.” 

Him? Did she mean Edward? If so, Bella hoped she was taking him to the hospital for a rabies shot. He was clearly feral.

She made it to the bathroom without any hindrance and locked herself in one of the stalls. It offered her a bare minimum of protection, but at least no one could see her. If you can’t see it, it’s not there - it being a black-eyed monster in this case. The irrational thought was exactly what Bella needed to calm down. She stared blankly at the scribbles on the stall door as she wrangled her thundering heart under control. Someone had written in looping cursive about, oddly enough, the militia movements of the Confederate Army in the Civil War. It was signed J. W. at the bottom, and Bella sent a silent thank-you to them for the distraction. 

Five minutes passed faster than she liked and Bella was forced to return to the Biology classroom. She felt like she was heading towards the gallows.

Edward was nowhere in sight, and Bella was faint with relief. She returned her hall pass with shaking hands and returned to her seat. Feeling brave, she vindictively took the chair Edward had occupied. It was silly, but it gave Bella a small measure of comfort; how evil could he be if his presence hadn't left behind a tainted mark.

Bella’s thought hadn’t even finished when she noticed hairline fractures in the wood extending from the place where Edward had gripped the desk. Had he broken the counter? It seemed a bit excessive, but Edward must really not like her. She ran her fingers on the underside of the wood and found finger size groves embedded there. 

Her breath came fast and shallow, and Bella was on the verge of hyperventilating when she caught a flash of copper in her peripheral vision. Her mind had evidently associated the color with Edward, and rightly so, because her head snapped to the side, afraid that he was coming for her again. Alice was frog marching Edward across the car park. It would have been a comical sight, Edward’s lanky height dwarfed Alice’s tiny form, if Bella wasn’t freaking out. Alice led him towards the woods for some reason. Didn’t they have a car?

Then something astonishing happened; Alice pushed her brother forward with unnatural strength and his shape blurred as he took off at a sprint. With the same supernatural speed, Alice followed suit, and they were both gone before Bella had time to blink.

The only thing keeping Bella grounded was the grip she still had on the table, her fingers fitting into the indentations Edward had left behind. 

It was proof that she hadn’t lost her mind.

A/N: I don’t speak Spanish and neither does anyone else in my family so don’t hesitate to correct me if what Mrs. Goff said was incorrect!  

Next chapter: Momma Renée gives life advice, and dinner at Billy’s turns into an eye-opening experience, featuring Bella; the amazing grocery mountaineer.

[cliterally-what]

what i wish rowling would write

Year 1

Three dark haired boys sulk inside a Hogwarts express cabin. The only luminescent thing in the room is the girl.

Her hair is fiery red and everyone's eyes swim with worry, except hers are bright green. She has a sour taste in her mouth from her fight with her sister. Looking down at her wand, she realized, maybe I am a freak. She was taking subjects called “Potions” and “Charms” after all.

The young boy’s face next to her looks grim. His long dark greasy hair fell around his hollow face. He already gained his first nickname. It wasn’t a good one.

Across from them sat another boy. His hair curled quite perfectly around his chin and he had a goofy lopsided grin. He sat laid back munching on Bertie Botts Every Flavour Bean. To Lily and Severus, he looked without a worry. Only he wasn’t. He sat petrified his family would disown him for not placing in Slytherin, but he knew at the very back of his mind he wanted Gryffindor. But he was also so scared the Sorting Hat would touch his head, would sense his countless generations of pureblood and Slytherin ancestry and cry “Slytherin” without hesitation. He disagreed with his family, but was too young to ever form a proper argument back. He knew one thing though, he liked the boy next to him.

As for the last boy, well he was excited, the only thing that worried him was if his hair was messy enough. He ran his hand through one more time as his knee bounced up and down. He wasn’t good at sitting still.

Year 4

Slughorn tells Snape he should take notes from Lily, even though he was second best in the class. Lily noticed from that day forward he constantly took more notes and even scribbled in the margins of his potions book.

Year 5

It’s year five and everything’s more complicated. OWLs are coming up and Lily can’t think. The knot in her stomach that she usually only feels before a big exam hasn’t left in three months. The knot grows bigger every 4th period when she has stupid Potions. The only class she shares with Severus and James. She can’t think when Severus shoots her daggers for not sitting with him and she can’t think when she hears James’s infuriating voice. Now a days, she can’t decide who she hates more. Severus has been acting so strange recently; at first, Lily thought it was because Professor Slughorn liked her so much. She soon realized he spent most of the class not paying attention at all but rather playing with his own potions set and hurriedly writing things down in his textbook. Normally, Lily would have investigated this matter more, but she was too tired these days.

Slughorn dipped into the Potions closet for a moment and James seized his opportunity to taunt Snape again.

“Snivellus, got dung under your nose again, eh?” James called out.

“Actually mate, I think that’s his natural face!” Sirius chimed in. Severus turned beet red, and mumbled a combination of foul language under his breath, which just made them laugh harder. Infuriated, Severus raised his wand, but lucky for James and Sirius, Slughorn reentered the room.

“Oho, Severus! No need for wands right now,” Slughorn caught his eye on his raised wand. He circled around Severus’s cauldron and exclaimed, “Excellent! One of the best Draught of Peace potions, I’ve seen in a while!”

At this, Severus perked up and scribbled more onto his book. James found it peculiar how he kept writing in his textbook; books were supposed to be kept in pristine condition. He nudged Sirius and directed his eyes in Severus’s direction. No words needed to be spoken for them to understand what to do next.

“Oh well, would you look at the time! Class over! A short six inch essay on Moonstone properties due Friday,” Slughorn announced. The class quickly shuffled towards the door but James and Sirius hung back making sure they’d walk behind Severus. He clutched his potions book under his arm, oblivious to his enemies walking behind him. Once out of the sight from the classroom, James nicked the book out from under his arm and flipped open to a page. Severus looked back wildly and tried to grab it out of James’s hand, but he was too fast. He dodged Severus’s arm and skirted backwards.

Reading off the page, James shouted, “Snivellus, why’d you write turn the potion twice clockwise when it clearly states once counter clockwise? Or crush don’t cut the beetle? Think you’re a hot shot, yeh? Gonna run back home to show your Daddy how smart you are? Oh, right, I forgot he walked out on your greasy arse.”

“Give that back, you arrogant fuck,” Severus fumed, lunging aggressively for the book. Again, James was too fast, and tossed the book over his head to Sirius.

With a casual catch, Sirius opened the book to the front cover and read aloud, “property of the Half-Blood Prince. What the fuck that’s supposed to mean? You’re that stupid you think you’re a prince?”

“Is that what you tell yourself to fall asleep at night?” James laughed, but soon realized Professor Slughorn was coming down the hall. He tossed the book back to Severus and ran off. “Catch you later, Snivellus!”

As Severus’s “friendships” with Avery, Mulciber, and other twisted Slytherins grew stronger, these interactions grew more frequent. James and Sirius despised the lot of them and the dark magic they used. Lily remained torn as ever; she hated Severus’s friends but couldn’t stand to see James and Sirius terrorize him. On a particular sunny day just after OWLs were finished, James lay about under a tree with Remus and Sirius. He lazily played with a snitch, letting it fly away for a moment, then snatching it before it went too far. Spotting Lily walking towards the lake, he quickly sat up and gave his hair an extra rumple.

“Mate, she isn’t paying attention to you,” Remus laughed, noticing his sudden alertness. James looked slightly deflated, but not for long; Avery and Mulciber were also coming down towards the lake with Severus a few strides behind them, trying to keep up. Eventually they sat under a tree across the way from Remus, Sirius, and James. They talked darkly among themselves before Avery and Mulciber sent Severus off. James stopped playing with his snitch, and Sirius began watching too. Severus snuck up behind a group of girls, which James knew to be Hufflepuffs, one of them was a muggle born. It looked as though he had dropped a letter behind the muggle born, then he slowly walked off. In unison, James and Sirius tore off from their seats, catching up with Severus before he made it back to his “friends.”

“Delivered a foul message to Penelope...Does that got anything to do with her being muggle born?” James angrily whispered behind his back. Severus quickly snatched his wand out of his robes and his face went pale. He had not expected to be caught.

“Serves her right, nasty mudblood,” Severus retorted.

Before James could even react, Sirius had already screamed “Scourgify!”. Severus’s mouth suddenly filled with bubbles, choking him. Now, lots of people were watching them, and James instantly noticed Lily was a spectator too. Severus spat the soap out of his mouth and quickly rounded up on Sirius, but James was too quick.

“Petrificus totalus!” Severus body crumpled to the ground frozen. At this, Lily ran over and cried the counter jinx.

“James, you arse!” Lily spat.

“I only did something because he left a fowl letter for Penelope!” James tried to reason.

“Sev, you wouldn’t do that, right?” Lily implored, but by her tone of voice she already knew the answer.

Severus, obviously mortified by James and Sirius’s teasing and the fact that Lily had to save him, spat back “So what if I did? She’s a filthy mudblood just like you.”

Acting unphased, Lily coolly walked away, leaving Sirius and James to continue their bullying.

That was the last time Lily ever considered Severus a friend.

Year 6

Year six holds a lot of surprises for Lily: she and Severus are finished, she witnesses a wizarding war for the first time, and most shocking of all, she realizes James might not be a bullying arrogant toerag after all.  

Sixth year potions proved difficult as ever. Much more talented in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration, James desperately needed help. After pleading Lily the first two weeks of the school year, she finally agreed to tutor him on the condition that he would stop playing with his hair. They spent Monday and Wednesday nights together, couped up in the common room or library. Their meetings always started on track and James would actually act very studious. By the end however, the conversation had strayed from Potions but to Quidditch or the latest gossip, and they usually ended up in bouts of laughter. Lily enjoyed the conversations about the war the most though. She found it refreshing to hear James be serious and she found it hopeful to hear his thoughtful and brave insight about the war. To Lily’s dismary, she soon discovered how much she actually enjoyed his presence, but of course she wouldn’t admit that to anyone. He never stopped playing with his hair, but she began to notice how attractive she found him, especially with his hair messy. That secret would be taken to the grave.

Their Potions lessons turned into Lily sitting with James and his friends in all of the classes they shared and even hanging out after class. With Lily’s newfound respect for James, Sirius’s came too. Remus, of course, she had always admired. She found it an escape to hang out with the Marauders, they were fully aware of the horrors outside the castle, but they never seemed to stop their laughter and practical jokes. As some of the cruelty leaked into Hogwarts (always stemming from Severus or other Slytherins), Lily began to understand James hatred of Severus. Of course, his bullying was always extreme and she knew Severus struggled with fitting in. Lily had noticed that James’s teasing had subsided; it was if now that they were friends, he wouldn’t dare do anything to piss her off.

One evening, James left his Defense Against the Dark Arts research essay to the last minute, forcing him to spend his night under his invisibility cloak in the library. Finally at one o’clock, he sleepily made his way back to the Gryffindor common room. The Fat Lady swore at him for waking her up so late, but as her portrait swung upon, James heard faint crying coming from the common room. The crying grew louder as his walked through the tunnel. He stood at the end unsure if he should remove his invisibility cloak, but when he noticed the red hair alone by the fire he quickly slipped it off.

“Lily...er...are you alright?” James asked awkwardly.

Lily jumped and quickly wiped her eyes. Taking a moment to compose herself, she threw aside the letter she was holding, then spoke, “James! You scared me. What are you doing outside the common room so late?”

“Oh, I had an essay I had to finish up” he paused, unsure whether he should mention her crying, “but are you alright, what’s going on?” he finished, approaching the fire.

“Oh, nothing, it’s a bit stupid actually, I just--” Lily erupted in tears again, unable to finish her sentence. James now felt extremely uncomfortable, but he sat down on the floor next to her. He started rubbing her back, and caught a glance at the letter that was in her lap. Giving her a look, she nodded with approval, as he picked it up and read it to himself. It was from her sister. She said lots of foul things like how Lily was a freak, an attention slag, and that she didn’t believe a word about this “war.”

“Wow, your sister sounds like a lovely human,” James tried to laugh. To his surprise though, Lily managed a small smile and her sobs calmed a bit.

“She’s a-ac-actually amazing, but she’s always hated me for b-being a witch when she isn’t. I wrote her and my p-parent’s trying to explain the war,” Lily sniffled, then paused to cry a bit more. “My p-parents believed me, of course, but Petunia thinks I’m lying, and that I’m just trying to get attention. I’ve gotten past that her jealousy will always make her foul t-towards me, but I’m so scared that they’ll be V-Voldemort’s next muggle victims. I try to not act like I’m scared for myself, b-but its hard to deny that being muggle born doesn’t bode well these days. I just don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m t-terrified, James.”

There was something about the way Lily said James’s name, that he knew Lily truly cared about him. He comforted and chatted with her until two, before the both of them agreed they must get some rest. As they went towards their separate staircases, James found his heart a blaze inside his chest, but most shocking of all, Lily’s heart glowed too.

With springtime finally among Hogwarts, the students spent much of their days outside and the sunlight significantly benefited everyone’s mood. The fifth years, unfortunately, looked miserable as ever with OWLs approaching. Lily and the Marauders couldn’t be happier they had already gone through that hell. Of course, James liked to rub that fact into into the struggling fifth years. Looking arrogant as ever, he casually played with his snitch and deliberately asked loudly “Don’t you just love how little work we’ve got right now? Man, I truly can’t think of anything worse than those OWLs last year,” when passing a group of studying fifth years.

“You’re a real git, you know?” Lily scoffed.

“Doesn’t stop you from hanging out with me.”

“It did for five years and if you keep it up, I might leave you high and dry again.”

“She’s got a point you know, if you weren’t such a mangy arse people might actually like you,” Remus chimed in.

James and Lily spent many days like that, sitting by the lake under their favorite tree. Sometimes their friends accompanied them, and Lily found herself becoming increasingly fond of each of them. She's always been Remus's friend, but after all these years she thinks she might understand how Remus has tolerated James and Sirius for so long.

Year 7

Hogwarts is strange. Everyone knows the horrors that are happening outside the castle walls, but nobody acknowledges it. People talk in hushed voices in the corner of the library or the common room with worry plaguing their faces. Lily spends most of her time with James, Remus, and Sirius. After a particularly gloomy week James and Sirius decided to throw a party Friday night. They mysteriously disappeared sixth block and came back with their rucksack bulging in seventh period. Remus gave them an angry glare and Lily tells them “You’re a fucking moron, you know? Coming to class with that.” Perhaps they were right but James and Sirius knew Professor Binns wouldn’t notice a thing. After escaping History of Magic, they all hurried back to their dormitories. They piled into James’s room since Head Boy gave him a private dorm and boys weren’t allowed in girls rooms. James and Sirius dumped their treasures all over the bed.

“So, are you going to tell us what this is all about?” Lily said, pointing the pile of Butterbeers, Firewhiskey, and cheap goblets.

“Yeah, we’re throwing a party tonight.” Sirius replied.

“Things have been looking a little dim around here to say the least, we thought this might lighten the mood,” James added on.

“You’re mad! Where would this even happen?” Remus inquired, looking rather uncomfortable. His friends made many stupid decisions but this one took the cake.

“Well, the common room of course!” Sirius laughed.

“Absolutely not, what if McGonagall hears? We’d all be done for!” Lily felt rather nervous about this whole idea and she wasn’t willing to give up Head Girl just one month into the school year.

“I think you’re just worried you can’t keep up with me Evans” James taunted.

“Oh, bugger off.”

Despite many protests from Lily and Remus and silencing charms cast around the common room doors, they all found them self gathered in the common room at eleven.

Sirius had already found Marlene and was dancing foolishly on top of the coffee table trying to impress her.

Lily stood near the table chatting with Mary and Alice before James came over and dragged her to the corner.

“I brought you a drink,” Lily could smell the alcohol on his breath as he spoke. “Remus looks as if he’s about to shit himself,” James continued, laughing at Remus’s direction. “Having fun yet, Evans?”

Lily laughed and took a sip of her Firewhisky and James’s hand found a place on her waist. Her insides burned and she can’t tell if it’s the whiskey or his touch. She wished she could stay there with him the whole night and she wished she could tell him this, but instead she said “C’mon let’s go loosen Remus up.” James wants to tell Lily that he loves her cherry pink lip gloss or the way her hair falls when she’s hunched over a book or the fierce look she gets when she yells at Mulciber or the way she looks curled up on the sofa or just simply that he loves her. But instead they stare at each other for a moment longer, remaining silent.

They get Remus drunk and everyone’s happy. Sirius, James, and Remus put on a three man act for the party to see. When Sirius dares James to turn into his animagus, he almost does but Remus reminds them it’s a secret and they’d be expelled. Lily, Sirius, and Marlene had a competition about who can name every student McGonagall has given detention to in the last month. Marlene won and Sirius kissed her. For a couple hours everything was blissful, but then William saw them kissing and he called her a stupid slag. Marlene cried and Mary threw up and James’s heart felt like it was going to explode if he doesn’t tell Lily this moment that he loves her but it's all okay. Because the common room is warm and for a brief moment everyone has forgotten about the war outside.

The next morning, they all woke up feeling a little worse than they did the morning before but nonetheless content. At breakfast, they ignored their mountain of homework, instead recounting all of the fun they had the night before. Everyone's smile quickly disappears when the owls come, knowing the Daily Prophet brought nothing but bad news these days. Sure enough, the front page contained a list of Voldemort's latest victims, all muggles, muggleborns, or well known "blood traitors." Lily’s heart sank and horrible thoughts swarmed her mind. James removed the newspaper from her hands and tried to give her a warm smile.

On Thursday afternoons, James gives Lily flying lessons since she never learned properly. They spend most of the time in fits of giggles arguing over who’s a bigger prat, James for being so arrogant or Lily for being so incompetent.

“Well, I actually think I got better today!” Lily exclaimed, touching down on the ground after a surprisingly successful lesson.

“Great! Now you can finally thank me for being such an excellent teacher.” James hovered four feet off the ground circling around Lily, just to prove his broom control.

“Oh, come off it. Half the time you just laughed at me!” Suddenly, the sky erupted and buckets of rain fell from the clouds. “Merlin’s beard! C’mon James lets go!” He quickly hopped off his broom, grabbed Lily’s hand, and sprinted towards the Quidditch locker room. Gasping, they finally made it inside. Taking their time to catch their breath, they hardly realized they were still holding hands, until the panting stopped. With the silence, Lily found herself feeling awkward about it, but at the same time she didn’t want to let go.

“Well this is just an absolute mess.” Lily said to fill the silence, pointing down at their drenched clothes. “I’ve got mud everywhere!”

“Yeah, its a real shame seeing your shirt stuck to you like that…”

Lily slapped James, but she couldn’t help but blush. Her laughter faded and everything seemed rather serious.

They were still holding hands.

Lily became quite aware of how close they were and watched as James eyes dropped when she licked a raindrop off her lips.

All at once, James’s lips crashed onto Lily’s and they melted into each other. She forgot about the rain and the mud or whether or not they would survive once leaving Hogwarts. With sudden clarity, she understood everything. She understood that she didn’t have to understand anything, because she was his and he was hers.

And together, they’d be okay.

[mrmichaelchadler]

Sundance 2019: Troop Zero, Give Me Liberty

Sundance is a festival that largely prides itself on discovery, which often comes from the filmmakers who embrace experimentation. But the festival’s clear exception for this is the timeless crowdpleaser. You know the type: those quirky comedies where oddballs form some type of team, defy their insecurities together, and often do a silly dance. They don’t exactly “Risk Conflict” as the Sundance t-shirts proclaim this year, but offer progressive narrative focuses for stories that are wholly accessible. 

Case in point: Bert + Bertie’s “Troop Zero,” which charms with its familiar qualities but gets the most charisma out of its heart. As a type of “The Sandlot” for young geeks, it’s dedicated to any young kid who dreamed about what’s in the stars, and especially for any young girl who has had people tell them what they should and should not be doing. 

Like “Little Miss Sunshine,” and countless other Sundance-approved titles before it, “Troop Zero” is another story of underdogs, misfits, and oddballs reunited under a cause, featuring a pivotal dance sequence, this time about a scout troop that want to win a competition against other troops. The prize is being able to record their voices on a record that was sent to space (a real thing, as the end credits remind us). They face competition from other troops with higher numbers, but their biggest competitor is Troop 5, who are plainly (perhaps too plainly) not nice, and are essentially being groomed to be like their troop mother, Miss Massey (Allison Janney). But Troop Zero has got spirit, yes they do, and a dedication to get past their individual quirks to earn the single merit badges they need to qualify for the competition. All of this makes for “Troop Zero’”s sincere offering: many simple, however sugary scenes of these young actors bonding. 

The beating heart of the story is McKenna Grace’s sparkling performance as Christmas Flint, whose love for space and the stars is instantly contagious. It's in the way that she lights up when hearing anyone talk about it, making her fixation on having her voice heard in space the drive for the rest of the story. Grace’s on-screen career is just starting, but she has a naturalness on camera that makes this the best role she’s had so far (and she’s been great in movies like “Gifted” opposite Chris Evans, and on Netflix's "The Haunting of Hill House"). But she’s not alone: Grace is joined by other vivid side characters, like the bully-turned-friend “human volcano” Hell-No (Milan Ray) and the destructive Smash (Johanna Colón), both of which relish the largeness of their characters and make for some strong laugh-out-loud moments along the way. 

Viola Davis plays Rayleen, Christmas’ accidental mother figure who leads the troop of four girls and one boy, Joseph. Working for her father (Jim Gaffigan, in a great role), a lawyer who has rotten clients (“it’s not my fault they’re always guilty,” he hilariously asides), Rayleen falls into the position of being troop mother, and offers a strong contrast to the more conservative and villainous troop mother played by Janney (who plays her villain straight, as if she really does believe that the troop experience is just training for wives and mothers). Davis gets some great lines of her own, playing the straight woman to a rambunctious group of kids, but she has her own monologue about her past that shows her wanting to be defined by her own life, and not the people who have wronged her. 

“Troop Zero” goes down easy like the best cinematic comfort food. But it’s a testament to the clear vision of director Bert & Bertie, and the extremely intentional, novelistic script by Lucy Alibar, that it has such ease, and never betrays its vital sincerity that lets its progressive idealism shine. “Troop Zero” is vivid where it counts: those tangy Georgia accents, its yellow and orange summery color palette and its vibrant batch of young actors. The movie comes from a specific place and it means something (and will mean a lot to the young audience that’s soon to discover it), even if has crowdpleasing down to a science. 

With the same overall goals of "Troop Zero" but a very different way of doing it, there's “Give Me Liberty,” which is just as much a melting pot as the country that inspired it. This one is what they might call "a whole lot of Sundance movie": it’s quirky, sentimental, progressive, over-the-top, timely, cheesy, obvious, vague, ambitious. Some whole sequences in Kirill Mikhanovsky's 110-minute directorial debut seem to be in the movie because they just feel right, whether it's extended scenes where we sit with one boisterous family, or moments where we get to watch disabled actors dance, sing, and make jokes like we rarely do on screen. Even if its many risks don't always work, "Give Me Liberty" is one of the most electric films I've seen in Park City so far, the debut of a fresh vision on the all-American crowdpleaser. 

When I tell you this plotline, try to imagine it as a mix of “Patti Cake$” and the Georgian dramedy “My Happy Family.” That is, the unabashed American indie crowdpleaser and the claustrophobic, chilly, at times sardonic European drama that speaks to universal pain. It’s about an aimless twenty-something named Vic (Chris Galust), who has a job driving a medical transport van in Milwaukee. Starting with his crazy morning of trying to wrangle his grandfather while helping clients, it becomes a close-quarters road trip movie but it takes place within one day. The unlikely friends for crowd-pleasing are a cadre of boisterous Russian relatives and a headstrong woman in a wheelchair played by Lauren 'Lolo' Spencer named Tracy (her character is much more than that, but the character’s inclusion into this script from Mikhanovsky and Alice Austen starts there). 

The movie throws you into Vic's life and rarely offers you relief, even though its witty edits can make for some strong laughs. Instead, the movie wants to relate to you by detailing Vic's extremely stressful juggling of needy family members, and the duties of his job. He’s late to everywhere he goes, people are always yelling at him in the movie’s often chaotic soundscape (the MARC theater fitfully made it sound like I was surrounded by people yelling at me), and Mikhanovsky’s camera and cutting is effectively claustrophobic this side of Gena Rowlands in her kitchen in “A Woman Under the Influence.” Every time Vic has to make a stop, it becomes a massive production, usually elongated by the too-free-spirited middle-aged man named Dima (Maksim Stoyanov), while the family members are sincerely played like children who always have one problem to address. In “Give Me Liberty,” driving around Milwaukee becomes a Sisyphean task for Vic, with a bunch of babushkas and Dima on his back. 

This detail, this scope, it all gives the movie an electricity that largely compensates for its lack of emotional stakes. Mikhanovsky creates many odd, vivid details, playing with how he defines his characters within the stressful nature of his comedy. The finest example might be Vic's mother, introduced later in the movie. She has to play piano for a recital that night taking place in her apartment. Scenes later, a Steinway is in her one-bedroom, with a full audience seated. Why? How? As a flourish of chaos, especially for a movie where there is no space from family, it's just one of Mikhanovsky's many animated choices. 

Mikhanovsky directs this movie as if this were his one and only shot to say his piece, which gives it a massive, undoubtedly passionate quality. He clearly loves his many characters and their family spaces, with “Give Me Liberty” playing out like a very personal director’s cut. But his enthusiasm for some of these aspects is not unfounded: he has fascinating actors like Spencer and Galust, and when the claustrophobic camera takes a few seconds to breathe in their faces and what charisma they bring to this surprising celebration, it leaves a strong impression. There's also a warmth in the rambling movie's monologues, like with a bedridden man who speaks clearly to Vic (and the viewer) in bookending speeches about love and those around you, starting the movie off with a whiff of preachiness. But then by the end of the gripping American odyssey that is “Give Me Liberty,” the words are contextualized from someone who is incredibly sincere, sharing every part of his soul with us. 

from All Content http://bit.ly/2sPjhcc

[dork-empress]

5 Times Ron Got a New Job and One Time Harry Did: Chapter 5

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Ron is doing everything he possibly can as a stay at home dad, but family news drags him away into drama with his own friends,

“Ok, now, careful...careful…”

“I’m being careful, Dad!” Hugo said exasperated with his dad being overly cautious.

“I know, I know,” Ron said, not removing his hand from Hugo’s back, “I’m just telling you, this broom has a little more kick thank your old toy broom.” Ron’s naturally frugal nature didn’t allow him to give his kids their own broom, not just yet, but he wanted to teach them how to use one. So, now that Hugo was 5, Ron was teaching him on his own.

“I got it!” Hugo said, but still clutching his broom like it might leap out from under him if he looked at it wrong.

“You have this,” Ron encouraged, “now just lean forward a little to pick up some speed.”

Hugo looked at him like he’d just asked him to jump off a cliff. “Don’t worry,” Ron reassured, “you’ve got this, and I’ve got you.”

Hugo nodded, determined, and pressed forward on the broom. It instantly sped up, jerking Hugo forward and making him yelp. He pulled the broom back too far, making him nearly vertical and he started to fall off.

“Whoa there!” Ron said, grabbing his son before the broom shot up into the sky. Ron held his hand out and said “Down,” and the broom calmly flew back around and landed on the grass.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Hugo said, whimpering, “I’m no good at this!”

“Hey, hey…” Ron said holding him close, “it’s alright, it was your first try.” Hugo still hung his head. “Listen, I have failed at SO many things, SO many times. And some of them I gave up on. But some of them I kept going, and practicing, and some of them I got pretty good at.” Hugo frowned, like the idea of practicing to be good was something that only happened to his father. “Hey, you know who else has trouble flying? But you can’t tell anyone.” Hugo leaned in conspiratorially as Ron whispered, “your mother.”

Hugo backed away, trying to figure out what game Ron was playing. “But...moms good at everything…”

Ron laughed, “She has some faults. But you didn’t hear it from me, ok?” Hugo nodded, conspiratorially. “But She also tries like no one else. That’s how she got so good at everything. So, what’d ya say? Give it a few more tries?”

Hugo nodded, and Ron brought the broom up again. They tried three more times, each one slightly longer than the last, but each still ending with a little yelp and a thump from Hugo as Ron caught him. Before they could get re-set up for a fourth attempt, Rose threw open the back door, her hair a fiery red mane that refused to lay flat no matter how many attempts Ron and Hermione made. “WILL YOU QUIT IT?! I’M TRYING TO DO MY HOMEWORK!” And slamming the door on them again.

Ron squinted at the door humming quietly to himself. “Ooooh,” Hugo said, “Rosie’s in trouuuubleeee.”

Ron sighed. “Practice mounting and unmounting without me for a bit, Hugo, maybe even lifting off the ground. I’ll be right back.”

Hugo still giggled as Ron went into the house, looking to see Rose sitting at the kitchen table, her papers strewn out before her like her bag had exploded. As he looked closer, he noticed it wasn’t just her hair that was red, but her eyes were red and a little wet as well as she poured over the paper.

Ron hadn’t wanted Rose to go to muggle school at all to begin with. She was finally old enough to talk properly and fun to play with. “I never went to school as a kid!” Ron protested to Hermione, “And I turned out fine!”

“Ron, you barely know your times tables!” Hermione argued.

“Is that a table with a clock on it or something?” Ron made the mistake of wondering allowed, which earned him a look of pity and horror from his wife. “Harry says he got bullied in muggle school.”

“Harry grew up in an abusive household,” Hermione said, “And his main bully was his own cousin. Our kids aren’t going to have that problem.”

Ron was grasping at straws now. Why’d he have to marry a lawyer? “Can’t I just keep one of them here at home?”

Hermione sighed, grabbing his face, “You’ll be fine. We’re not sending the kids away, not yet. And maybe you’ll have time to do something else, more writing or traveling or something. Besides, you still have Hugo for two more years.”

That was two years ago, and Hugo was set to start soon. Rose was working on her summer homework that she’d been putting off, and apparently it wasn’t going well. “Hey, Rosebud,” Ron said, using his nickname for her, “What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry about the door,” she babbled quickly, “I just meant to close it, and the wind picked up and thats why it slammed!”

“Uh-huh, sure,” Ron said, not believing her, but gave points for a creative explanation. “How’s the work coming?”

Rose shut her eyes, but he saw the batch of fresh tears burning their way through her eyelids. “I KNOW this,” she said, “I remember, I learned it already! But I just...I just forgot! Mum told me to work on it sooner, but I didn’t and now I forgot and it’s all my fault and it’s just TOO HARD, I can’t DO it, I--” She broke off as the paper in front of her suddenly burst into flames and she screamed.

Ron whipped his wand out, “Aquamenti!” he shouted and doused the fire.

Rose sniffled and started sobbing in earnest, looking at the crisps of the work she’d done. “Hey, it’s ok,” Ron said, pulling up the chair next to her and holding her tight, “It’s ok, it’s ok. People don’t learn things once and then just know it. Sometimes you have to learn and re-learn lots of times. I certainly have.” She whimpered and he gave her a squeeze, “You know what this means, though?” She shook her head, hair rubbing against his robes and getting even frizzier. “Your magic powers have come in.”

Her head shot up so fast he didn’t know how she didn’t get whiplash. “I...I did?” she said, looking at her papers. “I’m--I’m a witch! I really am!”

“You certainly are,” Ron said, kissing the top of her head. “Why don’t you go write a note to your mum and tell her? She’s working late, but I’m sure she’ll want to know! I’ll see if I can salvage this paper.”

She jumped up and ran to get a quill and parchment. Ron sighed. He was sure Hermione would be home soon anyway, but this would get her home faster. He could make a nice celebratory video. He did as promised and worked on restoring Rose’s homework (which she had done a number on, he was proud and frustrated to say), when Rose called. “Dad! There’s an owl at the window for you!”

Ron sighed, determined he had done the best he could (it was readable) and would ask Hermione for help later. He got up to let the owl in that was clacking on the window pane.

It was Harry’s owl, Jadis, a snowy just like Hedwig. He was partial to them, apparently. They had a normal barn owl as a family pet, but Jadis was Harry’s in particular.

Ron gave Jadis an affectionate pet. She was nice and friendly. Ron had thought about stealing her more than once. She offered her leg, and Ron plucked the letter from it. It was just a simple note, but Ron actually hadn’t heard from Harry in a while, so he was looking forward to what he’d have to say.

He opened the note, and read it.

And then read it again.

A third time for good measure, and to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

“WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS?” Ron said, nearly ramming down Harry’s door at Grimmauld place.

“Shhh,” Harry urged, but the painting down the hall had already started screeching. There was a reason he’d moved out of this place. He cast a charm to silence Sirius’s mother, though the curtain only muffled it, really. “Honestly, I wrote you a letter so you WOULDN’T come here!”

Harry looked...well, he looked like shit. He clearly hadn’t shaved, possibly in several days. He was still in his pyjamas, and smelled a bit like firewhiskey. Ron might have pitied him, if he wasn’t being pushed by anger. “You thought I wouldn’t come when you tell me in a LETTER that you’re divorcing MY SISTER!?”

Something fell on Harry’s face. “I…” he started, but his voice left him, seemingly of its own volition. “Look, Ron, I get it, ok? She’s your precious sister who you care about and if I hurt her they’ll never find the body.” He collapsed on his chair in the kitchen, that seemed to be the center of the nest he’d created for himself. “Well, I did, so...bury away.”

Ron stared him down. He’d barely told Hermione what happened when she got home, before apparating in front of Harry’s door. He was supposed to be making a celebratory dinner for Rose, but all he felt was protective anger. “What happened?” he nearly added his typical ‘mate’ at the end of the sentence but stopped.

Harry gave half a shrug. “It just...it wasn’t working out.” he said, going for a handful of bertie botts and eating the whole thing, which was a scary idea. Ron could only imagine what sort of taste combination that could be. “She was working, I was working...we only were ever in the same place when dealing with the kids. We tried to talk things out, but…” A tear slipped down Harry’s face. It looked like it was making a pretty familiar track. “I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.”

“Well, tough,” Ron said, standing in his line of sight, “You got married, bucko. I was there. You SWORE to love her!”

“I do…” Harry said softly, just like he had on his wedding day. “I love her. Or...at least I love the she was when we got married….”

“What?” Ron asked, “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It DOES,” Harry said, “Or it does in my head, anyway.” He took a swig, but Ron grabbed the bottle out of his hand. Harry glared, but continued. “I loved Ginny when we were kids, not even 17 and taking walks and feeling like...like I was someone else. Not the me who was burdened with Voldemort or Dumbledore or fate or anything. Just...just a person, a happy person.” He sighed, “When Voldemort died...and I was still here...I wanted to be that person again, that person with Ginny. But I couldn’t. I wasn’t…” His lip wobbled, and he couldn’t meet Ron’s eyes, “It was always just a fantasy.”

“You sound like a coward.” Ron accused him, earning a glare from Harry that was more hurt than anger, “So you’re just going to leave her? And your kids? Weren’t you the one who was angry at Remus for leaving his family?”

“I’m not leaving my kids!” Harry insisted, “I love the...I love them with everything, I just can’t give them what they need. I’ve TRIED, I tried so hard.” He whined. “This isn’t about what’s easiest for me, this isn’t about...about leaving. I still want to be there for them, but…” He wiped his eyes under his glasses, “I don’t know how.”

“Then figure it out,” Ron said, “It’s not easy being a father or a husband, I understand that better than anyone, but you have to try and keep trying even when you want to give in.”

“You’re not LISTENING to me!” Harry said, “I don’t want to give up, I don’t WANT to leave but Ginny’s found--” His voice caught in his throat. “She’s...she’s found….someone else.”

That’s when Ron collapsed into a chair as well. “She...what?”

“Look…” Harry said, “All I want...all I’ve EVER wanted in this marriage was for Ginny to be happy. And if that’s not with me…” his voice hitched again, and he let his words fall.

“But...Harry…” Ron said, “You’re my BROTHER. In everything but blood. You can’t give up! Fight for her! Show her you’re better than this other guy.”

Harry winced. “I’ve made my decision.”

Ron frowned, frustrated, “Let me talk to her-”

“No!” Harry said, “Ron just….just let it go, mate. We’ve both been over this so many times, I don’t want to drag it out anymore. It’s hurting her and me and the kids and...I just want what’s best for everyone.”

“But Harry--”

“Get out Ron,” Harry said, “I have to get ready for work.”

He slumped upstairs without acknowledging Ron anymore. The portrait of Mrs. Black screamed again as Harry passed, but he didn’t even bother stopping it this time.

Ron watched him go, thought about following, but instead, turned away, still boiling in anger. Whoever that man was, he decided, it wasn’t his best friend.

“Of course he’s still your best friend,” Hermione said, getting ready for work a few days later. Ron had already dropped Rose and Hugo off at school (Hugo’s first day! He couldn’t believe it!) but managed to get home before Hermione apparated out, “He’s Harry, he’s our Harry.”

“You should have seen him, Hermione,” Ron said, “He’d just...he gave up! It’s so unlike him. You remember how Harry would go after everything and anything. Wouldn’t let go of that Draco business or Snape or whatever, right up until the end.”

“He’s just going through a hard time right now,” Hermione said, “I think you’re being too hard on him.”

“No, I’m doing what he did.” Ron said. Hermione looked at him, eyebrow raised, “When Remus ran, Harry yelled at him, and that forced him to go back.”

“Not every couple separation is like Remus and Tonks,” She said, head bowed for just a moment in mourning, “sometimes...sometimes the bravest thing you can do is let go.”

“You didn’t,” Ron said, “when I left. You didn’t let go. And so many people told me to go back, I...I wish I’d listened.”

Hermione smiled, but there was something sad in her eyes. “Did I ever tell you...I dated someone while you were gone?”

“What?” Ron said, beating down his own jealousy with a stick.

Hermione didn’t meet his eyes. “I thought I’d pushed you away for good. And, well...I reconnected with someone I knew in muggle school. I’d seen him over summers and such. He asked me for dinner and I...I said yes.” Ron didn’t speak, not trusting himself. “It didn’t last long. I always felt like I was holding back. I never felt that with you, even when we argue it’s always just, 100% honest.” She sighed. “I tried to make it work, but it didn’t. So I let him go. Even though I was alone, even though I NEEDED someone there, I didn’t want to be in a broken relationship just because I wanted a relationship.”

“But you weren’t married,” Ron said, “they’ve been married so long!”

Hermione screwed up her face, “I’ve always thought Harry and Ginny got married too soon,” she said, “the war just ended, and they were still just kids...the older I get the more ridiculous it seems. Sometimes I think WE married too young.” She shook her head, waving off his concerns before he made them, “sometimes it works out, but it’s a risk. Marriage is always a risk, that two people will change to be too different. And to do it when they still really don’t know themselves...but they’re my friends so I didn’t say anything.”

“But…” Ron said, fumbling for more arguments, “Harry and Ginny have THREE kids together! What’s that going to mean for them? To live with separated parents.”

“Actually, I think it might be because of them.” Hermione said, “Harry grew up in a house without love. He doesn’t want to do that to his own.”

Ron huffed through his nose, “I still don’t think it’s right.”

“It’s not your decision,” she said, before coming over to kiss his cheek, “I’m off to work. Don’t stew in this all day, please.”

She went for the door, but just before she opened, there was a knock.

Confused, they opened to reveal Luna Lovegood, hair longer than ever, with a pair of muggle laser disks hanging from her earlobes. “Oh! Luna, hi,” Hermione said, “I’m sorry, I’m actually on my way out.”

“No worries, Hermione,” Luna said, “Have a good day at work! I’m actually here to talk to Ron.”

Ron and Hermione exchanged confused looks, but Hermione left, and Ron let Luna in, “so, what can I do for you?”

“I’m here to offer you a job,” Luna said, jumping straight into the point, “Ginny tells me your kids are going to school now, so you’ll be home alone.

Ron frowned, a little sore at the mention of Ginny. She was refusing to talk to him right now. “A job? As what?”

“Travel guide,” Luna said with a smile.